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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The Embarrassment

I'm sure many of you moms or dads have their nightmares with their children misbehaving and causing a big embarrassment. And I don't believe that anyone is perfect. My story here that I'm about to discuss is how Brandon really embarrassed be at "school" today and how I have never been so upset and miserable the entire day. Not many people do share about their bad day, but I' m going to tell you anyway. I'm not a perfect parent, but I try my best to discipline Brandon and teach him what is right and what is wrong. I had a very stressful day and believe it or not, I am shedding tears as I am typing this.

It all started during clean up time where all the children were asked to put away toys to get ready for circle time and sing songs. Brandon did not do what the teachers asked him to do. Instead, he kept taking out the toys that were put away. The teachers were about to close the shelves and we all waited for Brandon. Brandon would yell NO and whine. Everyone else was sitting down already and waiting while I am standing up trying to convince Brandon to come over to me. When the teacher got the toy out of his hand, he cried and cried so horribly loud that everyone in the room was staring. I was so embarrassed that I felt like I just want to hide or just leave the place. I was also afraid what other parents or grandparents would think about me and how I teach him at home.

After singing a couple of songs and rhymes, he finally stopped crying. Brandon is a real big cry baby. He cries or whines at little things -- even just telling him that something is not safe to play with or if another person or child borrows a toy from the pile Brandon is playing with, he would yell and cry. I would tell him calmly what he did wrong or tell him no need to cry.

When it was lunch time, everyone goes to wash their hands before we eat. Today, Brandon refused to and struggled when I tried to carry I'm to the washroom. I had to do a quick rinse because he was still whining. I don't want to keep the line waiting. Again, how embarrassing. During lunch, Brandon was eating very well. He always feeds himself really well and I'm proud of him. When finished halfway, he suddenly poured his cup of milk into his lunch meal and then started pouring the mushed meal over his plate of fruits. I was shocked! He's usually good. Really! I have never seen him do that before. I also kept telling that to some of the parents and grandparents because I was afraid what they were thinking.

After having lunch at school (class was over), I walked home with Brandon on the stroller. I was still very upset. I told him he was a bad boy and he made me mad. He started listening to me later in the afternoon when I asked him to go lie in his bed for nap time. I was surprised he didn't come back out or whined and the door was still opened. So I went in 15 mins later and found him already sleeping. He never likes nap time (not usually without me napping with him), but this was really great I thought. I had some time to catch up with my work.

Soon it was almost time to go to bed. Brandon usually drinks a small cup of milk and eat a cookie before we get easy to brush teeth and go sleep. He got me all ford up and mad again after pouring his cup of milk (which is covered with a lid and has a straw) all over his train table and all over the alphabet mat on the floor in the playroom. I was like NOOO.... Now the table and wood were all damaged. I just had it with him and put him in his room while I cleaned up the big mess.

I finally got him to go to bed.... really late! OMG, I do not know what to do anymore. Please share some advice if you have any. Much appreciated. Thanks for reading.

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Selmada said...

I know it was embarassing, but because it's not his regular behavior, I would try not to focus on it too much.

It could be caused because he's over tired, not feeling well in general, feeling left out of something or just reaching a phase where he's testing some limits.

Try to talk to him about how his actions were wrong/bad. Try not to say that he's bad, but that what he did was bad. Make sure he knows you love him no matter what he does. There are mixed fellings about telling kids that it can be hard to like him when he acts like that, so use your own judgement.

Have him help clean up. Not as a punishment, but as something you do when you make a mess (otherwise he'll never want to help clean).

And take some time to relax for yourself. You've said its not normal behavior so its not something he learnt from you.

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